The reason that I love transformational Coaching is because the premise of it is that each and every one of us is whole, perfect and capable. That each and everyone of us are our very own guru, our own teacher and our own guidance system. Unfortunately the majority of us just don’t know this yet! Or don’t believe it, either way, being a coach I become the reflective lens of the person who is in front of me.
Now for the most part, Facing other peoples demons is a common occurence, we can look out into the world or into our immediate circle and witness all types of dysfunction, we can identify wickedness, racism, violence and abhorrence of all kinds when looking outside of ourselves and we can judge and become self righteous and come up with what others should or shouldn’t be doing which is all very well and good but what happens when we stop and turn the lens inwards? What happens when we stop and take the difficult and path less travelled journey of looking at the types of thoughts and feelings that are running our own internal commentary?
What levels of violence, anger, prejudice, judgment and wickedness is going on in our own internal stream of thoughts and images? How blissful and loving are our own thoughts and feelings? How destructive are our criticisms of ourselves and others? How wicked can we be to ourselves oftentimes? And how much does this contribute to our lack of the things we say we want and the dysfunction we experience in our external world?
Your external world is simply mirroring your inner feelings. We feel it is the other way around but if you take an opportunity to be still and really look at how things have developed in your life you will see that it is the inner world that has created the external experience. Whatever you are saying to yourself and believing is creating your external experiences and situations for them to manifest.
The internal world deserves our interest and exploration more than we have been told or give credit to. Our Internal thoughts and feelings are the internal guidance maps given to us at birth that have been messed up and altered due to our not so ideal upbringing. No matter how idyllic on the surface our upbringings were, we rarely if ever make it to adulthood unscathed at some level.
I grew up with a schizophrenic parent who wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my twenties, although I knew there was something wrong I wasn’t able to articulate the diagnosis at an earlier age for many reasons! So does this contribute to my own patterns of self sabotage? Undoubtedly, but I am now aware of the patterns and I can work with them when they are triggered. Being unaware of our unconscious patterns of self sabotage or self abuse or self hatred or however the unconscious toxic belief manifests itself is where some of the pain and fears come from. Do we all have them? Of course we do. It is awareness of them that is empowering!
So how do we work on fixing these patterns?
The methods available at this time have probably never been so plentiful and I believe it is down to the individual to choose what works best for them. But the work is required and i would go as far as to say it is near impossible to resolve on your own .
Without a doubt if you are unhappy where you are in life and wish for a better tomorrow, If you want to achieve something but keep putting it off and making excuses then an unconscious out of touch belief about yourself and the world is the cause. Make it a priority to found out what that is. Face your demons.
‘As within so without’.
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