So there’s this issue that you’ve been thinking about. It’s something that angers you or irritates you and you are going over and over it in your mind. Again!
When you wake up it greets you with images and scenarios of how it could work out or it should have panned out or what you could have or should have said/done. When you are in the shower it is distracting you with it’s enticing frustrating storyline.
When you are with your kids or your friends you are kind of listening but this ‘thing’ is still with you so it still has part of your attention as you just can’t seem to resolve it in your mind no matter how many times you go over it.
You go out with friends or are at home getting the dinner on you realise that this issue has followed you through almost everything you’ve done all day. Sometimes the thought is switched for another thought, slightly different but equally unsolvable. Or it may have been a conversation, an argument that you had, whatever it is is, it could have been last week, last month, last century (yeah really). But you are still thinking about it.
Or maybe you’ve been asked to do something which will put you in a position to be looked at. Maybe you’ve been asked to do a presentation at work or in front of a large audience and your mind has started with it’s worry about what other people will think, what if it all goes wrong, what if people don’t like you….and on it goes.
The thoughts generate feelings mostly unpleasant. So what is the point of this incessant worrying and stressing? Why do we do this?
It seems that we believe that this thought process is inevitable and that we are actually helping in some way by re-living, rethinking or predicting the situation or scenario over and over again. Realistically we are doing nothing of the sort.
What we are actually doing is draining ourselves of life energy. Focusing on a story that has already happened or may happen or may not ever happen is a mechanism that produces no actual change or assistance.
Whenever our thoughts leave us feeling depleted and drained it is a sign that we are not ‘thinking’ effectively. We are not present to this moment. We are hurting and annoying ourselves and need to bring some peace for ourselves back into the equation. Trying to control external events through ‘over thinking’ them is trying to exert influence over things we have no control over.
The reason why we do this in all honesty is because we are afraid, because we’ve thought of the worst case scenario and can’t or won’t allow it to take place so we think about it with intensity, unfortunately this is more likely to bring about what we don’t want as what you think about you attract into your existence!
We become ‘addicted’ to our thoughts and so the decision to bring love into this equation won’t necessarily be the obvious thing to do however bear with me.
The love we need to bring in is for ourselves in order to calm the addiction to thought and bring us back to where we are in peace. Being so focused on the worst that could happen consumes a lot of physical, emotional and mental energy – this energy could be used for things far more productive.
Underneath all of this worry is a lot of hidden unresolved emotion. Underneath all of this is fear, hurt and sadness.
When you truly love yourself you will not feel like you are under attack, you will not feel like everything is about to go wrong or life isn’t fair or that everyone is out to get you. You will know that everything is going to work out just fine; you will know that you are ultimately safe and able to take care of yourself, you will be confident in your ability to do whatever you need to do when the time comes and that you are fully capable of dealing with any issues that come your way.
This is self-reliance. This is self-care. This is self-love. Once you have achieved this state there is nothing that you can’t do. Working on getting there if you aren’t already does take time but with the right guidance, you can get there. Your life will truly never be the same again.