Positive Posts · Uncategorized

The Shadow

As a child I secretly believed I had super powers.

The Incredible hulk was my imaginary personal security. I say imaginary but at the time I actually believed I knew him personally.

At the risk of being whisked away by men in white coats. The Incredible hulk was my friend. He had my back.

As life does it knocks any feelings of grandiosity and imagination right out of you and by the time you reach adulthood you believe that going to work every day from 9 till 5 is as good as it gets.

You are now ’conscious’ and ‘aware’ of reality.  A ‘reality’ which was given to you by others.

Any feelings you may have had of being special, all powerful,  omnipotent and unlimited which you would have had at birth are all slowly squeezed out from us by way of discipline, other people’s opinions, mistakes we make and the judgments our mistakes bring from others etc.

From being born to reaching adulthood our identity becomes one that is acceptable to the world around us. We are knocked into shape by social norms and acceptable behaviour from various sources.

In a society that prides itself on being tolerant, the beating our egos take throughout childhood and beyond in order to shape and reform us into acceptable members of society is really not that tolerant.

Of course there are plus sides. No one wants to be around other members of society who are happy to express their demonic repressed selves on the rest of us. Some people we class as psychopaths, rapists, murderers and crazy people do unfortunately express the parts of themselves deemed unacceptable and I hope they will continue to be hunted down and locked away.

There are however many ‘normal’ people who have or had certain traits that were at some point belittled, abused, and putdown into submission to fit the mould of their environment.  When the amendment to the psyche of the child is done successfully in this way, what often happens is that the very creative, very inspiring, very confident, very powerful and/or very talented part of that child goes with it. This is a result of what psychologists call self-fragmentation.

The brain compartmentalizes traumatic experiences to keep people from feeling too much pain, be it physical, emotional or both.

Where we at some point in our lives were unable to handle possessing a certain trait due to it potentially leading to an overwhelming situation our mind protects us by discarding that part of ourselves.  In some cases we will have no memory of this happening. We don’t remember the original cause of the pain or the trait but we disconnect with a part of ourselves that we or someone else has deemed unacceptable. Our brain does this for our own benefit.

What is really interesting about this is that those traits are still there, they are just hidden from our conscious self. So how do you think this shows up? For most of us it shows up in the shape of other people.

Is it possible that you can identify that the annoying woman at work who files her nails in the kitchen who you secretly judge as nasty is actually reflecting the disowned part of you that you unconsciously at some point judged as being nasty?

Or could it be that the aggressive behaviour of your Boss or the person who screamed at you for not driving quick enough and scared you to death is simply reflecting to you the unacknowledged part of yourself that is also aggressive?

Or could it be your partner that annoys you because she constantly criticizes and complains about the same thing is simply reflecting to you your own annoying way of being critical and complaining about things (even if only to yourself) but you just cannot acknowledge this.

You will find that many annoying situations are re-occurring ones. This may be a sign that it is you who has a need to bring this into your awareness.

There are so many possible ways for your disowned parts of yourself to show up. Sometimes you may get intense uncomfortable feelings in your body indicating that there are painful issues going on inside but you ignore them.

Energy can neither be created nor destroyed. All energy including emotional energy has to go somewhere. Where do you think your repressed painful energy is going? Do you even acknowledge its existence or do you find ways to numb it? Maybe you drink alcohol over it? Smoke over it? Take drugs over it? Lie over it? Sleep around over it? Self-harm over it? Self-sabotage over it?  Worry over it? The list goes on.

Can you see that there are so many ways that the unloved parts of yourself can and will manifest?

There is no escape from this. Sadly some take the only way out they know how in the moment by taking their own lives because of it. Your emotions and feelings need your attention and acknowledgement. The traits they are replacing need to be assimilated and accepted by you.

The situation or the person you think is annoying you now. Isn’t what’s really driving these feelings? The issue that you think is the issue.  Isn’t the issue!

When will you make time to do something about these feelings? Unacknowledged repressed negative emotion is thought to cause illness. The guilt, sadness, shame, hatred you carry around with you if not addressed may and does affect your internal organs and cause disease. Dis-Ease.  As well as other mental health issues.

It doesn’t have to be this way. I wish to shine a light on the things that no one seems to want to talk about openly.

For a non- judgmental discovery session please e-mail me at thelovebroker@gmail.com

 

 

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